The end is nigh, friends.
I’ve had mixed feelings about the last few episodes, though everything has been heightened knowing that Nina Dobrev is finished with TVD this season, an event for which I’ve already expressed shock and dismay. Like, she’s almost done. It’s insane. Honestly, it’s a McDreamy-level shocking exit (though not a surprise). NEXT. THURSDAY.
But, we gotta live for the here and now. Like humans do.
After a solid mid-season emotional arc involving the physical decline and death of Sheriff Forbes—which offered us some TVD-style sentimentality at its best, in my opinion—the show struggled with how to handle Caroline-sans-humanity. There were some fun moments. There were some awkward moments. And, really, I just didn’t buy her vampire-without-humanity in the same way I believed Elena’s detour into humanity-free land. This is undoubtedly due to the fact that Caroline has been an emotionally-healthy vampire for so long that it was harder to mesh her personality with an entirely humanity-free persona. Though, to be fair, she was doing pretty damn good controlling herself even without her humanity before her friends pissed her off and pushed her over the edge.
She’s Caroline Fucking Forbes.
They should have let her be, ya know.
Let her try to launch her music career.
Let her channel Missy from Bring it On.
If she wants to try some hair twists that mimic dreads and stop curling her hair into perfect bouncy waves, who are we to judge?? Let the woman try leather on for awhile. Rebellious phases are part of any adolescent vampire’s life!
Anyways, where were we? that is all to say…
It’s the day of Alaric’s and Jo’s wedding and Jo is being a frazzled pregnant bride, Bonnie’s feeling all premonition-y and thus bitchy, Elena (bless her heart) is trying her best to help—but, get real, that’s not exactly in her wheelhouse—after the wedding planner calls in sick, and Alaric is forced to hang out and drink with two former students with whom he has no real relationship because Stefan and Damon are taking a normcore suburban detour to scare Damon into staying supernatural… But, thank god, the Queen arrives to save the wedding.
She’s back!!! I loved it. It was a very Bowie-Zoolander moment but ultimately such a Caroline entrance as she immediately begins taking control of the situation. Event to plan? Call Care.
Caroline, Queen of the Party Planners and Pithy One Liners.
Having overhead human Elena say that she can’t drink a mimosa this early because, “I have human tolerance now… cheaper but a lot less fun,” she immediately rights this egregious wrong and tells her:
“Elena, just have a drink. you’re not going to pass out.”
Yes. Thank you. It’s a mimosa. It’s half-juice. Chill. (Another funny moment re: alcohol tolerance was when Stefan was trying to scare Damon with his future and in one of the visions Damon and Elena are fighting about money, sex, loneliness, etc., and so Stefan has vision-version-of-Damon utter something about how he’s so unhappy and he just wants to be able to drink all night and not feel it, drive fast, and rip someone’s head off, but he can’t, because he’s human. I mean, the alcohol part just killed me.) She also sets other things to right and graces us with another one of her patented winks and all feels right in Mystic Falls.
As a further gem, Matt gifts us with:
“Caroline suggested in a semi-threatening way that I pick up the centerpieces.”
Also, Caroline begins her “Dreaded Amends Tour” for trying to kill all her friends, etc., etc. Honestly, there have been so many Amends Tours, it is a right of passage for TVD.
Elena spends some time waxing poetic about what it means to be human and being connected to everyone and being alive, blahblahblah, but, while preventing Alaric from seeing his pregnant fiance at the hospital after she passed out, she quips to Alaric, “If there’s anywhere you should be superstitious, it’s Mystic Falls.” Zing! She also calls him bourbon breath, just btw.
Or her return to straight hair. Meh. Although, apparently it’s in line with her human persona. Her hair was always stick-straight as a human, then curled as a vampire, then curled with pink highlights as a no-humanity-vamp, etc. There’s a cycle to these things. Speaking of cycles, Stefan and Elena joke about her falling back in love with him because she’s human again.
Hardy-har-har. But srsly. Not sure they’d be ready to joke about that, but, hey, it’s Mystic Falls.
As I mentioned, this is a total Pinterest-wedding complete with barn, mason jars, lots of outdoor white lights, etc. At least they know their demographic!
Then we have a nice pseudo-wedding-before-the-real-wedding between Elena and Damon. It was not particularly inspired, but it was satisfying for me.
Then we have the culmination of all of the plot details I’ve ignored thus far—something with Bonnie, Enzo in a horrible scarf, Mama Salvatore, Bonnie again, Matt sucking at most things, Mama Salvatore and Enzo, Invisible Person. Idk. Watch the episode if you care. I mostly want to talk about Caroline and analyze the decor, attire, hair, etc.
But, as we all suspected, the invisible hand guiding the
market episode (Adam Smith humor!!) was…. KAI.
He gives us a standard villain “miss me?” entrance and then a pun about “til death do us part”, natch. Oh, how I love him! A lot.
I hope/assume he will stick around next season. I know some people (coughcough Bri) don’t like him, but, for me, he is a refreshingly insane villain.
And Chris Wood plays him SO campy—in the same vein as Damon and Klaus—and over the top, which is perfect in this show.
But, the internet is a wonderful/scary place and after googling BonKai, well, I’m disturbed. But, lezzbereal, fan sites on the internet’ll do that to ya. But who am I to judge?
Anyways, the might Kai brings with him destruction and, possibly, death.
That’s it! I assume Elena will die next episode. In fact, I firmly believe that the only responsible exit the show can allow for her character is a true death (rare in TVD) because otherwise it just doesn’t work that she leaves the storyline. Like, just pleasepleaseplease don’t simply compel her away. She’s not Jeremy. She needs an absolutely devastating death and Damon must be inconsolable. I will accept nothing less. And we might get it, if the promo for next week is an accurate indicator.